"Am I the only one I know
Waging my wars behind my face and above my throat
Shadows will scream that I'm alone
But I know we've made it this far, kid."
And then I realized. I am not alone. I am not alone in this battle that I thought was futile. You've given me a battle-cry.
Being on shuffle, the phone now played "Car Radio". It killed me. Song after song played, going from "Guns for Hands" to "Trees". You guys showed me that I'm not alone in this world; That I'm not just a blemish in the Book of Life. After that night (We talked about suicide in Youth Group, ironically), I began to research T|O|P. I found "Addict with a Pen". Being a literal addict, with a pen, I was intrigued. After listening to it, I cried. Mind you, I'm highly tolerant in mental pain and showing it outwardly. But just the imagery and analogies got me thinking. I'm not the only one struggling with my walk with God. I don't exactly know if that's exactly what you meant, but it helped me nonetheless. I began to write, and write, and write. While I still battle constantly with depression, I know that if I'm alone in this world, I'm not alone in being alone. So I will go down into the forest and sing a chorus that everyone will know. My voice will be heard and my gun will become a fist in the air like a right hand raised as a promise. My open palm will beg for rain from God to wash me away. You have helped me. The only way I can seem to repay you is to tell you that you two have saved my life. Thank you.